Archive for the ‘Sexual Health’ Category

• DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER?

  Date: 2010.08.17 | Category: Relationships, Sexual Fulfillment, Sexual Health, Sexual Pleasure | Response: 0

  Penis Size Myths Debunked!

  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Myth #1: Bigger is better. Not necessarily so. Because most men become aroused visually, men have concluded that the larger the sexual organ, the bigger the turn on (the media, including the porn industry, perpetuates this myth). Most men are surprised to learn that the average length of an erect penis is between 5.1- 6.2 inches depending on the study. The reality is that some women are actually frightened by very big penises, and most women just don’t attach very much importance to size. When it comes to turning on a woman, technique trumps penis size every time!

  Myth #2: I need a large penis to please a woman. The vagina is very elastic, so a woman’s vagina can accommodate a big or a small penis. Most vaginas are only 3-4 inches deep and all vaginas remain collapsed when nothing is inside of them. Because the most sensitive part of the vagina is the opening, where she has a concentration of nerve endings, the sensations that a bigger penis may cause aren’t that different from those produced by a smaller penis. Additionally, a woman who keeps her pelvic floor toned and vaginal opening tight with kegel exercises won’t even feel the difference.

  There are certain conditions, such as micropenis, that may make pleasuring a woman through traditional intercourse more difficult. This is not insurmountable, however, as most women need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. This is most effectively done with a vibrating toy, tongue or hand. A man who enjoys pleasuring his partner with toys or various other body parts has little to worry about.

  Myth # 3: I can make my penis larger with gadgets or supplements. Men often ask me, “How can I make my penis bigger?”. There actually is one way to achieve a larger penis (excluding surgery). It is available for all men who find themselves at least 15 pounds overweight. Although most of the penis is visible, part of the penis is buried beneath the skin and is called the crus. If a man has excess fat in his pubic area, then part of the length of his penis is buried beneath the skin. With weight loss, a man will expose a greater portion of his penis, thus his penis “grows”. The approximation doctors use is one inch of erect penis length gain for every 30 pounds lost.

  For a fresh perspective, and more accurate perspective, on your penis size, try looking at yourself standing naked in front of a mirror (instead of looking down). You might be surprised by how much larger you penis looks from this perspective (as it’s seen by others). When you look down, foreshortening (a trick of the eyes) occurs, which is an optical illusion making your penis appear smaller than it really is.

  Myth #4: My penis is misshapen because it’s curved. Finally, if your penis is curved when erect, your penis is perfectly normal! Men who don’t know this often think something is wrong with their penis and feel self-conscious about it. Trust me, penises curve and bend in every direction when erect. If you are concerned, however, see a Urologist for peace of mind. The ratio of crus (penis under the skin) to exposed penis will cause variation in the direction that a penis points during an erection. Men with a shorter crus, thus a longer penis, are more likely to have an erection that points downward, while a penis that has a longer crus will point outward or even strait out when erect.

  Bottom line, your sex appeal is determined by many factors, least of which is penis size. Focus on improving sexual technique, increasing emotional intimacy and developing confidence as a lover and you’ll have a fully satisfied partner!

• Stop Associating Pleasure with Shame and Guilt

  Date: 2010.04.13 | Category: Libido, Marriage, Pleasure, Relationships, Sexual Fulfillment, Sexual Health, Sexual Pleasure | Response: 0

  

  All to often I talk with women who just “aren’t feelin’ it” anymore (or maybe they never have) in the bedroom. Over time, women who are not getting sexually turned-on with their partners will find themselves in one of these three camps:

  1. You’ve stopped making love with your partner. Sex rarely occurs, and if it does it’s only because your partner initiates. However, your partner rarely initiates anymore because he’s experienced a history of painful rejection (note: her lack of enthusiasm for sex is interpreted as rejection). Couples may continue to co-exist as roommates, but the vital sexual connection between them is lost.

  2. You are willing to go through the motions of having sex, but you’re not really enjoying making love. You feel more like a shell during intercourse, not really experiencing pleasurable sensations, waiting for him to finish…hoping it will be soon. You are willing to have sex because you understand it’s important to your partner and you want to meet your partner’s sexual needs, however you’re not really enjoying it. The reason you’re not enjoying sex is because sex has become another task on your to-do list, it feels like an obligation to take care of someone else’s needs. While this low quality sex is helpful, it is far from optimal, and can undermine your relationship overtime as resentment builds when your needs remain unmet.

  3. You “fake it”. You pretend like you’re having the time of your life, giving him what you think he wants…moaning, shouting, grinding and even flipping your hair around if you’re really good. Then you’ll give him a clear signal that you have reached an orgasm (when inside yourself, you know you haven’t) to finish things up, but it’s all an act. You’re mimicking what you’ve have seen in porn movies, or trying to be what you think your partner wants you to be for him. Again trying to please your partner with no connection to your authentic sensual self. Like in case #2, you care about pleasing your partner, but inside you’re not really feelin’ it.

  All three of the above approaches are responses to the same problem: low sexual fulfillment. Low sexual fulfillment means that sex isn’t very enjoyable for you. You don’t see what all the fuss is about. You could take it or leave it, but preferably leave it because you’d might as well be reading a good book, folding laundry or catching some extra zzz’s.

  The REAL problem is NOT that you don’t enjoy sex, it is that you have not learned HOW to relax and receive pleasure (with no strings attached).

  LEARNING TO RELAX
  Give yourself permission to slow down and relax, even if it means the kitchen floor remains unswept. Relaxation begins with valuing yourself enough to allow yourself to be as you are. Once you’ve given yourself permission, recognize that relaxing is a skill that is LEARNED by practicing. With our multitasking tendencies, relaxing is a conscious choice. Make the choice to practice daily. And those of you proclaiming, “I don’t have time to relax”, need it the most.

  Relaxing just takes a moment, because it’s simply a way of being present in your body. Focusing on your breathing releases tension and lowers your heart rate. Play is another great way to relax, find things to laugh about daily. For a more formal practice, take a yoga class that offers meditation. And if all else fails, there’s always merlot!

  RECEIVING PLEASURE FREELY
  Most of us are taught to associate receiving pleasure with shame or guilt. We think that pleasure must be earned, bought or acquired as a reward for our tireless efforts. Without realizing it most of us learn to associate female sexual pleasure (women enjoying sex) with being “slutty” or immoral. After all, how many of us have ever witnessed women enjoying sex who wasn’t a porn star? Hmmm.

  So let’s rethink sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is a gift that is freely given to humankind to enrich our lives. Pleasure does not have to be earned or given by someone else. Pleasure is free. Pleasure is simply enjoying ALL of the wonderful sensations that can be experienced through the body and spirit. The abilility to feel, taste, smell, touch and hear are all avenues for pleasure.

  WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
  Your relationship changes the instant you change. So, the next time you decide to become sexually intimate, take a moment to clear your mind with some deep, slow breaths. Become completely present in your body, release any stress, and allow yourself to completely forget about your daily “to-do” list. Now, give yourself permission to receive pleasure. Tell your partner what feels good with sounds, words and smiles. Or better yet, show your partner how you like to be touched. Guide his hand where you want it. If you’re not certain where and how you like to experience sexual pleasure, start by exploring your own body alone. Read Goddess my Guide article “How to use a vibrator”

  There is nothing to feel shameful or guilty about. Only good things come to the women and couples who use sensual aids. In fact, women who use vibrators experience many benefits that non-users do not, including greater sexual health, more fulfilling sexual relationships, less anxiety, increased sexual self-confidence and higher libido. Vibrators can be easily incorporated into lovemaking with your partner, in the same way you might use lingerie or music to enhance the experience.  For help with introducing a sex toy into your relationship read my Goddess Guide article “How to introduce a vibrator into my relationship”

  It’s never too late!   Simply give yourself permission to enjoy receiving pleasurable sensations during sex in much the same way as you might enjoy a rich, smooth, chilled piece of cheesecake or hearing your 4 year old laugh uncontrollably at an episode of Sponge Bob. Life is rich with pleasure, add more sexual pleasure to your life and watch yourself and your relationship blossom!

  Pleasure Rocks!

• Goddess Unleashed

  Date: 2010.03.05 | Category: Inner Goddess, Joy, Marriage, Pleasure, Relationships, Sensuality, Sex Toys for Women, Sexual Fulfillment, Sexual Health, Sexual Pleasure, Sexuality, passion | Response: 1

  
  Welcome to Goddess Unleashed!

  This blog is designed for women who want to feel empowered, sexy and alive inside! If you’ve come to the realization that you’d actually prefer a chocolate bar over sex – or if you even have to think about it – this blog’s for you!

  If you’re like most women who, despite good intentions, simply can’t muster up the energy or find the time for passionate love-making at the end of the day, JOIN US!

  You know who you are…mothers, grandmothers, sisters, friends, volunteers, career women, household care-takers of everything from pets to plants…women who eagerly serve family, community & company while libido and passion for life slowly wither away, I invite you to to JOIN US!

  As a certified women’s wellness and relationship coach, I will be blogging about sex, love and emotional intimacy as it pertains to womanhood, motherhood and sustaining a fully satisfying, long-term relationship.

  The vision for Goddess Unleashed is to empower women to embrace their authentic, sensual selves. Once you connect with your feminine divinity (Inner Goddess), you’re free to create truly passionate, uninhibited & emotionally intimate relationships. I’m here to help you on this journey.
  Visit my website today at www.goddessunleashed.com